I was fully prepared to write a glowing review for Balboa, virtually retracting my prior bouts. But that is not going to happen. Not today.
The reason for this, is that the call I was to receive this morning, by a new Check-In-Coordinator, never came. Zilch. Nothing. Nada.
Really? Am I paying good money – thousands of dollars, to be ignored, dealt with shabbily, have my time disrespected? As I shake my head and work to control my rising anger, my closest friend calls. We discuss her son’s wedding.
It takes a conversation with my daughter for the fog in my mind to clear, and to realize that the day I sit at my computer, waiting patiently (or otherwise) for a phone call from a publishing business – is Sunday. To compound the issue – because I am nothing if not fastidiously detailed (except, apparently, for the day of the week) I wait a reasonable thirty minutes, then make phone calls to the dear Coordination Manager I spoke to last Friday, and the friendly woman who initially signed me up.
The conversation with my daughter goes like this:
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to Dara’s.”
“But don’t you have things to handle today?”
“Mom, it’s Sunday.”
And that’s when it hits me, like a ton of bricks. My hyper-vigilance, my micromanaging, my lost day. I immediately re-email these women, who I am embarrassingly aware must think I am insane, and apologize.
There are reasons, justifications, considerations. But still. I was presented with myself full on and I had to take a deep breath and a hard look. I was feeling insecure about the competence of the help I was receiving from Balboa and I turned a bit looney in the face of it. And I had gone to an afternoon backyard party Saturday that felt like a Sunday.
The lesson for me, when I feel this way, is to slow down. I jump onto the fast track, and I speed along like a racing interstate locomotive. I take no prisoners. Nor do I apply brakes. And, an even harder lesson for a perfectionist like me, is that I make mistakes, too. Like. Every. Other. Human. It’s humbling, and I clearly need the reminders: Stay focused, stay kind, and still do what I need to do. It’s a hell of a lesson for a Sunday morning.