Daily Prompt: I Did it My Way
Describe the one decision in your life where you wish you could get a “do-over.” Tell us about the decision, and why you’d choose to take a different path this time around.
My divorce. Not regarding whether or not it should have happened, it did (besides that’s another conversation entirely). But regarding the manner in which it happened. I was (characteristically) naive and hopeful that we could remain kind (loving?) through the process. That did not occur. I’ve heard it said that if that did happen, people would not get divorced. This is a requisite pre-divorce joust to emotionally separate, they say. Perhaps. I’m not sure I buy the premise.
Consider other possibilities.
The part that feels schizophrenic is that these two people loved one another enough to marry, shared financial endeavors, secrets and possibly children. What happened to their love? Where did it go? Why is it so difficult to resurrect? Even if we accept the notion that love dies or changes, what happened to the basic tenets of fair play? Treating someone the way you would want to be treated? Am I behaving idealistically again?
And thrive.
My divorce was complicated for many reasons. His behavior, my behavior, the pasts that we brought into our marriage. Expectations, fear, anger, lies, loyalty, disloyalty – we each have a laundry list with accompanying emotions. I can’t help but wonder if there are nicer ways to go through this break up. Not weaker, nicer. Communication and common courtesy should not die because one’s marriage does.
Wendy Karasin - Musings of a Boomer 