Wendy Karasin – Musings of a Boomer

Another beautiful day! This fall is busy (in a productive, joyful way) and I’ve been living with an expectant, anticipatory excitement. So much is in the works (but not yet complete) and I have a vested interest in what occurs, how it occurs, and remaining mindful throughout the process. It is a journey…

And, my friends, what isn’t? We forget that life, and time, is a continuum. Little (nothing?) happens in a vacuum, unaffected by what transpires before and after. The more aware our energy is in the present moment with the circumstance, people, and material before us, the more aware the outcome. Even when, perhaps especially when, those events and people are negative, miserable, adverse.

An inconsequential example: we don’t listen to the weather forecast or open a window or door to check the weather and go to work in a short sleeved shirt. There is an Arctic blast from Canada and the next day we wake sniffling and sneezing. Prevention? Attention – in this case to the weather forecast. But what about more significant issues like close relationships, finances, business? Not paying attention can be costly to one’s career, communications, and health. On the other hand, paying close attention to everything can be exhausting. What to do?

I will not be blogging for a few weeks – but upon my return I hope to arrive with renewed material and inspiration. And hopefully, mindfulness. In these next weeks, let’s think about how our lives might benefit from more mindfulness, what actions we can take in this regard, and reconvene for further discussion. Take notes. See you soon! 

Perhaps you view your life as perfect, or almost so. But for those who don’t (and that’s not a bad thing, we can enjoy our lives and still strive to reach particular goals and benchmarks) what holds us back? Fear, loss of security, limiting beliefs, lack of confidence? 

I am one of the strivers and I’m pretty happy with my life. My days are relaxed and I challenge myself.  I think to varying degrees, we all do. Sometimes it takes a life altering experience to catapult us, sometimes a less major – non stop irritation can do the trick. Whatever it is, or whatever we have, life is imperfect. So how exactly do we attain happiness? And is it sustainable?

It depends on how we define ‘happy’ and that definition can morph at different stages in life (to say nothing of different moments in a day!)  As a teen, happy was fitting in, having friends for fun and sharing experiences, getting good grades and taking that next big step – college. In my 20’s, I was adventurous with careers and tried quite a few, following my passion and whatever worked for my lifestyle and personality.  I picked up a Master’s Degree. I got married. Then came motherhood and opening a business. Then moving from Manhattan to the suburbs and buying a house. And another house. Then divorce. Tough years followed, but so did great ones. Is there any extended period of time you can think of that didn’t encompass multiple emotions? Perhaps even conflicting, multiple emotions? Is it just me?

In yesterday’s post I spoke of going on automatic pilot to free myself to handle some situations, which succeeded – but in so doing – the unintended consequence was disengaging from the moment. But maybe, with the very full plate I was carrying, those were necessary survival techniques.

Introspective as I am, I’m not big on spending time trying to change the past (which, by definition, is impossible). I’m just trying to understand it so I can behave differently in the present. Perhaps there is no perfect, but there is good enough. And if we are lucky, there are people and circumstances that make tomorrow worth today’s work.      .

Sunshine, Philosophy and the Jets!.

What would taking stock mean? And of what? Possessions, character traits, relationships? Yes. For whatever reason, (although I’m undoubtedly the introspective type anyway) it is a valuable state of mind to enter into, often. One reason being that we are not static, but instead dynamic entities and our behaviors and environments reflect our changes. Another reason, (more nuanced and less easy to accept) is that change is ubiquitous and in our best interest to welcome as a life staple.

From a strictly personal standpoint, I prefer consistency. It makes me feel safe. But when I expect consistency, rather than staying open to whatever the world offers, I become confused, disappointed, and uncertain. This is one of my biggest areas of growth;, stay open, expect little (a killer!) and know that you can handle what comes up (another killer)! It comes down to how we view change – if it’s frightening and unfamiliar and we hear ourselves saying, “uh oh” – we are viewing change as something unwanted. (That’s me, sometimes.) If we view change as fun, interesting (as in, what’s going to happen next?) and with curiosity  – then we are open, accepting, and ready.

There’s probably an element of (illusional and delusional) control in here also. As though we have it. I suppose it’s fair to say we possess some control over our reactions to internal and external circumstances, but I’m not sure about how much control any of us have, generally speaking. I also think the younger you are, the less likely it is that this will strike you as true. It’s a bitter pill, until you’ve swallowed it, then it can be liberating – but that’s another post entirely.

Thank you for reading, commenting on, and following this blog and have a wonderful, interesting, and thought provoking weekend. 

It took 10 minutes to sign into my WordPress account this morning. Why, you ask? Me too. Did my computer forget how to get there? Did WordPress compile a new set of rules for sign in? Did I lose my mind completely and type the wrong address into the search bar? 

No. So, what the hell??? As the Mom of four grown people who adamantly refuse to assist me in anything computer related (anymore), the predicament is worrisome. They tell me they’ve shown me enough times that I should know how to do it myself. Meanwhile, doing the same thing can beget different results on my computer. I have gained some confidence in the strange and inconsistent world of cyber, but still get thrown when what usually happens, doesn’t. For no apparent reason. On the other hand – it is true, that without my kids help, I have become braver and more willing to attempt finding an answer on my own. My oldest likens this to the theory – instead of giving the people fish to eat, teach them how to fish so they can feed themselves (and not be dependent on him, like me, for the computer).

Okay, I get it, and he’s not wrong. More importantly I stuck with it and found my way onto my WordPress site to post this blog (whereas years ago I would have thrown my hands up in despair, yelling for – and probably then begging – a kid to fix the problem). The truth is, with all the nonsensical inconsistencies I come across, I am eminently more capable today than I was a year ago. Or even 6 months ago. My mindset has shifted from complicated dilemma, to complicated challenge. This, my friends, is progress.

I leave you with the wisdom of the last few sentences from the Desiderata: “With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.” 

Why Fall Enlivens Us.