Daily Prompt, Number 26

Posted on January 26, 2014 by wendykarasin

zero-to-heroThe daily prompt asks what role the number 26 played in my life. A big one. My first son was born on the 26th of August, 29 years ago. I had trouble getting pregnant which did not paw2014-sostensibly disturb my then husband but depressed the hell out of me. I intellectually understood that a biological child was not the only was to have one, I also could not viscerally deny the impact this temporary reality had on my gut. Continue reading →

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Cosmic Reverberating

Posted on January 23, 2014 by wendykarasin

zero-to-heroCosmic reverberations are in the air. And we, to our credit, are listening. More willing than ever to hear the tough parts of life, we explore disease, trauma and loss. A few of my fellow bloggers have Continue reading →

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Bait And Switch

Posted on January 22, 2014 by wendykarasin
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If you look carefully, you will see me taking this picture last night.

Morning dawned to sun and snow. Just less than a foot of powdered sugar piled high on homes, lawns and disparate objects mistakenly left outdoors. The stillness brought on by a snowstorm’s beauty and immobility are inherent. Cold, white precipitation invoking the child within – snowballs thrown, forts created, snow-people built.

There will, in time, appear the adult. We are one and the same. Continue reading →

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Number 68 Across

Posted on January 21, 2014 by wendykarasin

zero-to-heroMy mother received her unlikely gift the day of her funeral. A New York Times debut. Not in the obituaries where you might expect her to show up, but in the Sunday Times paw2014-scrossword puzzle. On Easter Sunday, she was Number 68 across: a seven letter word for the clue, Open up. I have a copy of the puzzle framed in gold leaf on the wall outside my home office.

I remain certain these were her last words of advice. Mom didn’t believe making something easy, made it better. Not surprisingly the advice appeared in written form, in a puzzle. A respectable way to catch my attention and memorialize her reminder – don’t close off, open up.

Image 4The ability to talk with her, hug her, even disagree with her – which I did heartily and often – ended with her life. The emptiness that first took root was as futile and infinite as a swim across the Atlantic. In the dark. Mid February. Alone. I’ve recovered mostly and there is beauty in this. Which Mom understood intuitively. Her legacy is a family that loves and misses her, and remains close.

Post Script: The seven letter word that answers Number 68 across is Blossom. My mother’s name.

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paw2014-sWhy would anyone call a 16th birthday sweet? The female teen (I don’t believe I’m being sexist here, this is a girl holiday, zero-to-heroright?) is in the midst of hormonal throes the likes of which few humans (except for other 16 year old’s) would want involvement. I have covered this experience from both sides now and I can state with self proclaimed sureness, that parents are NOT looking at these creatures they created (who may have once been sweet) as sweet. They are snarly, messy beasts who behave in a fashion psychotic – exhibiting bipolar behavior daily. You remember, as a parent, that there is love buried somewhere beneath the clothing littering every inch of floor space, the hair clogging every brush and drain, and the mean spirited responses to “Good morning,” when you clearly should have known better than to speak before 10 a.m.! The good news is they generally grow out of it.

Posted on January 20, 2014 by wendykarasin | Leave a comment

zero-to-heroFamily was everything to Mom and the crater her absence presented was too big a hole for our hearts to fill. Easter Sunday, April 4th, 2010, Mom was buried. In the Jewish faith, people are buried quickly paw2014-sbecause we do not embalm.

A Jewish lady buried on Easter Sunday in the midst of Passover must be Continue reading →

Posted on January 20, 2014 by wendykarasin | Leave a comment

A Mother’s Way

Posted on January 17, 2014 by wendykarasin

I went from a relatively carefree childhood (except for the divorce of my parents which was profound for a 3 year old) to my teen years (politically but not socially rebellious) to a well adjusted young lady and college graduate (serious, not promiscuous) to an NYU Master’s student (smart) to a married woman (maybe less smart) to becoming a Mom (best decision yet). All under the watchful eye of my mom.

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That part of my life is now over because she passed away after a debilitating and valiant fight with Pancreatic cancer. The aftermath left me in deep shock and mourning, unable to absorb life without her. I had to climb out of low-lying cliffs, remote and jagged. Lopsided, as though a part of me had been amputated. I miss her daily.

The transition has not been an easy one, even though it has been years.

To be continued…

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