What Better Time

What better time is there than Mother’s Day to appreciate our mother’s? The truth is, I appreciate her every day, especially now that she is no longer here. On some level I took my mother for granted, her smile, her frown, the fact that she’d always be around to accept my calls, to hear my successes and my complaints.

I don’t feel badly about that, just that I wasn’t cognizant enough, that the day might arrive when I wouldn’t have her. As Joni Mitchell once said: “We don’t know what we’ve got till it’s gone.” But how can we have the comforting luxury of taking someone for granted, carrying the awareness that they will someday not be here?

My mother was a massive influence in my life, and the lives of my children. Her presence was large, looming, loving, and critical. You knew where you stood with Mom, she did not have, nor did she want to have, a poker face. She was straight up, flat out, who she was. For better or for worse.

I miss her, but I also carry her within me – I hear her words and feel her presence, although the sensations have faded. She’s been gone for five years now – I feel healed, but I shall always hold a space, many spaces actually, for her. And that feels right.

My book and tribute, The Moon To Play With – A Daughter’s Journey Through Love, Loss, & the Power of Presence is now out and available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. This memoir represents the culmination of a vivid eighteen month period that changed the way I live my life. We are lucky when we have the opportunity to lose and care deeply, because it means we have loved just as deeply.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers who gave and sustained life and continue to do so. And Happy Mother’s Day to all who act in the role of mothers – who provide an important service, usually without pay – unless we count the smiles on the faces of children, and the healthy adults these children become because of our care.

“You make the world a better place by making yourself a better person.”

 TheMoon_Karasin_Facebook_Ad Amazon Link:      http://tinyurl.com/o7qz9qw

Please take a moment to Like my author Facebook page (thank you to those who already have) and take a moment to consider what this book can mean for you.

“The time you spend with a person at the end of their life, can change the way you live the rest of yours.” – Wendy Karasin

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The Never-Ending Saga

For those of you who have not yet published a book – be clear. Easy it is not. For those who have published, we need to share our journeys with our fellow writers.

Once the writer completes what might initially be considered the hard part, writing the book, he/she will be assaulted with details, minutia, and important factors – like book pricing – that they may not (I did not) pay close enough attention to – because there are 70 other important factors at play.

It reminds me a bit of what getting divorced felt like. You place your focus on the aspects you believe are important and where you think you have control.  This is a large list, in an unfamiliar land, and you will miss paragraphs and sentences that come back to haunt you. So it is with publishing.

As a first timer, I don’t know what I don’t know. One hopes that the self publisher, or an article by a writer that has been through the process, will feed us the nutrients from the recipe. Which will then come out right and make us healthy. Or not.

I saved articles I thought would ‘someday’ be important and stuck them in a folder. Most of them I  never read, many were unimportant, and some mattered but I was way beyond their expiration date.

I suppose it’s a part of the process, making mistakes, using damage control on what we can, finding resolution, if not solution, elsewhere.

I’m an idealist and an optimist – this does not work well when dealing with opportunists. I remind myself that a book will be published, in my name, in the very near future. It will not be perfection – without a typo here and there (although I gave it a mighty try!) or a grainy picture, or a price tag set by Balboa that should be lower. It will, however, exist.

I am once again reminded that there is a ‘good enough’ and that there is completion. I cannot deny the thrill of holding ‘The Moon To Play With’, in my hands!

Thanks for listening.

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Dear Followers (Is that like Dear Abby?)

Follow up link since the prior one refused to cooperate! Try this and let me know if we still have a problem.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Moon-To-Play-With-A-Daughters-Journey/1622557834628911

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Dear Followers (Is that like Dear Abby?)

The sky is the limit.

The sky is the limit.

I have a request. It’s an easy one. I need 50 Likes on my Author Facebook page.
Please take a moment to (hopefully) click on the link below and/or copy and paste
it into your browser.
Thank you in advance for your time and cooperation.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Moon-To-Play-With-A-Daughters-Journey

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Balboa, Bout Three

This isn’t a bout, but it’s a catchy title if you’ve been with me through Bouts I and II. Things are rolling out Red Carpet style, minus the fanfare and, as of yet, the red carpet.

An author’s copy has been mailed to me so that I can check (not for typos and grammar, we are thankfully past that) for errors like printed lines that are not straight and areas that might contain excessive ink blotches. They are unlikely.

I am receiving emails from Balboa like a computer spitting forth in a haywire fashion. Many departments, many people, many attachments. I must take time to breath, deeply, as I am quite excited, but need to maintain focus in order to answer the unending cascade of questions about press releases, book marketing strategies, and publicity considerations both general and specific.

It is said that creative people are not business-minded people. Yet, in the brave new world of self, indie and hybrid publishing, we need to be. Exercising that muscle, for me—is uncomfortable. But I will not give up. What a waste that would be.

Discomfort is often nothing more than a lack of familiarity and expertise. Sometimes it is just the back talk of our brains. If we are capable of learning, and have had successes to fall back on, we can master this. Daunting as it may feel.

The challenges we face and the time we spend figuring out their solutions, are well worth the effort. They elevate our next starting point.

I learned through the experience with my parents that I can do and manage that which I would not have thought possible. It is poetic justice that the launching of this book would require me to continue working outside my comfort zone and grow further. My parents would have expected it. It could well have been their parting goal and gift. Although really, this desire to grow and expand has lasted a lifetime.

Thank you Mom and Dad. This book is on its way to the world. A tribute to you both. I hope you feel proud.

I know I do.

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Being Mortal

I just picked up a book titled Being Mortal, in which the author, a doctor, considers the experience of mortality. He explains that he was taught in medical school how to keep people alive, but not how to let them die, or even have that discussion, if there was no longer anything he could do to make them better.

He  says “our ideas about how to deal with finitude” (his word, not mine) are inadequate, if not lacking totally. He talks about doctors having conversations about the risks of operations—which can include severe complications such as paralysis and death—with greater ease than they can discuss why not having the surgery is the preferable decision. Even when they agree.

Death is a tough one. No matter our belief system. So is getting older and frailer, and losing pieces of our dignity. One would think, I would think, there is no better, more meaningful time for these discussions to occur. We are unversed, uncomfortable, under-resourced. We are ignorant, and perhaps too arrogant, to peer into this growing body of beings and be with our ineptitude. But if we don’t, we do ourselves and others a severe disservice. We don’t open the doors for the opportunity to make a difference.

Life carries with it opposites and paradoxes. Beginnings and endings, judgements of good and bad, peals of laughter and streams of tears. Where do you stand on this issue? Is it too upsetting to consider? Is it worth the difficult look into yourself it might require? Does anybody matter enough to you to open the door and find out?

 

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A Better Place

I’m back from Australia, back to my desk, my book, my ordinary life. Back to the cold winter laden with boots and gloves. Back to the United States.

It feels wonderful. My mom always said that going away is great, but so is coming home.

I am in what I believe to be the final stages with Balboa. If I can stop finding errors, and they can find and correct some, this process would go faster. I have made it my hindrance, encumbrance, mission not to go over the entire manuscript for each correction. Now I check to see that the correction I submitted was made. My mantra is: It’s not perfect, but it’s good enough. Continue reading

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